


Coffee Shop Hues

by CreamcheeseBagel



Series: Surviving South Park [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Craig is a Good Boyfriend, Kissing, M/M, Sad Craig Tucker, Sad Tweek Tweak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21521608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreamcheeseBagel/pseuds/CreamcheeseBagel
Summary: Tweek is drowning in insecurity, comparing his relationship with Craig to Kenny and Kyle's.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick
Series: Surviving South Park [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1529681
Comments: 4
Kudos: 120





	Coffee Shop Hues

Tweek hunkered down behind the front counter, rearranging the cake displays for the sixth time that morning. Or at least it felt like he had shifted the brownies about six times, maybe seven he thought with a full body tremor. He always felt mildly restless, small currents and itches beneath his skin, so making work for himself on the quieter days didn’t bother him.

So he continued to clean the counter, periodically worshiping the coffee machines and waited for the routine customers to trickle into the small coffee shop. It was no Harbucks; but Tweek appreciated the elderly owners and the rag-tag team of baristas.  
The chime jingled loudly and Karen McCormick slipped past Tweek to reach the till, her smile was a beacon to customers. All had agreed that Tweek would make the coffers and the more socially adept staff would serve and make chit-chat. 

Tweek stepped behind the woman with a jerk of his head. His fingers curled and uncurled as he began to prepare the customers order. 

‘Thanks, Tweek!’ Karen said with genuine enthusiasm, delicately taking the latte from his trembling hands and seeing the customer off with another wide smile full of care.

She turned back as soon as the customer had left, a hand already flicking Tweek’s shoulder. He flinched at the touch but smiled his assurance. The pair both knew Tweek’s ticks inside and out by now; Karen having taken the job to help out with her university bills (much to her brother’s quiet dislike), and Tweek having taken the first job to accept him.

‘I’m glad it’s quiet today,’ Karen continued. She wiped down the counter before leaning over it on her elbows. Tweek felt that she’d defeated the purpose. ‘I had an assignment last night that took forever,’ she yawned demonstratingly, ‘Kyle was an absolute star though! Kenny cooked and Kyle helped me make everything sound so much smarter’. She looked sideways at Tweek, her face a picture of affection. ‘I can’t wait to find love like that, you know?’

Tweek squeaked nervously, biting down on the squawk until only a buzzed hum came out. Karen smiled sympathetically and disappeared around the counter to wipe down tables.

Everyone knew Kyle and Kenny were the cutest couple, from here to South Park. If the university schedules lined up, Kyle would pop in and drive Karen back to her room on the local campus. More often that not he checked into the homely coffee shop near on every week, with Kenny’s arm linked within his own. The pair would share a table at the window, watching the world go by as they chatted and teased without a care in the world. Kenny would have a single glass of water and a muffin (the nicest looking one as per the unwritten code of the staff); Kyle would have a sandwich balanced on his closed laptop and a coffee, with an extra portion of fries he insisted on buying despite the fact he was always too full to finish them. Kenny would often swipe the fries clean off the plate, after a whispered not-quite an argument the pair insisted on having.

Tweek often wished he had something so unrelenting and giving, even if it were a ritualistic conversation about him needling to eat more as he huddled with his love.

Tweek pushed his fingers to a hot coffee pot. He wasn’t being fair, he knew that. In fact all his friends knew he had Craig. Tweek sucked on his burned digits. Even Karen would ask after the giant, hip bumping Tweek for more information. Craig never hip bumped him anymore.

‘Penny for your thoughts?’ 

Tweek blinked up from his daze, fingers falling from his mouth.

'That’s unhygienic,’ Craig deadpanned, scanning the chalk board above Tweek’s head. There was no inflection to the nasally tone, but Tweek knew when Craig was teasing. Even stone-faced and apathetic, Tweek knew in his bones when Craig was being funny. Wasn’t that enough for him?

‘I didn’tknowyouweregoingtobehere!’ Tweek rambled without brakes, his heartbeat crashing in his ears. ‘Ack!’ he yelped, once again quietly annoyed that he couldn’t even greet his boyfriend without sounding put out or skittish.

Craig shrugged nonplussed, his eyes falling on Tweek. ‘Thought I’d get a takeout’.

If that were Kenny he would have pounced easily on the banter, offer an _of you_ without hesitation. But Tweek knew he was being unfair again, his brain creating comparisons that didn’t need to be made. They’d been together years. Where one went the other half could often be found.

‘It’s quiet out,’ Karen stated, drifting naturally into the lull. It was true, the morning had been unusually quiet. ‘Did you want to take a break now, Tweek?’

Tweek hunched in on himself, his fingers finding a tuft of too long hair behind his ear and tugging. ‘Ah, if it’sokaywithyou,’ he breathed, the words sticking together. He breathed like Craig had showed him and tried again. ‘If that’s okay,’ he finished with a sharp jerk of his head.

‘Of course! You lovebirds go and enjoy yourself for a while,’ Karen teased without a drop of malice. In fact she’d already helped Tweek out of his apron and shooed the pair out of the door before she’d finished speaking. Craig flipped her off at the door, the smallest twitch of his lips sending Karen into another face aching smile.

The pair walked aimlessly in the sharp autumn breeze. Tweek pulled his shirt tighter around himself as Craig burrowed his hands into his own deep pockets. Tweek knew he must have looked like a homeless weirdo next to Craig in his blue parka and stoic calmness. Tweek trembled harder, his knees knocking as the silence pressed against him.

‘I’m ditching the seminar tonight,’ Craig supplied with a small nod. Tweek hated himself for not being a better conversationalist. ‘We could cook?’

Tweek squeaked at the idea of cooking. They hadn’t cooked together in months. He missed Craig’s heavy arms around his torso, his breath warm against his neck as the man bent awkwardly to talk as Tweek stirred sauce with the precision of a bomb disposal unit. 

They had stopped cooking together the night Craig had come up behind Tweek, enthusiastic about his new Astrophysics lecturer, and been rewarded with a pan of boiling water down his legs and a trip to A&E. Tweek would never forget the naked guilt in Craig’s eyes as he stripped the jeans from his blistered legs, as though it were his fault for Tweek curling into a ball with strands of hair between his fingers. Tweek had squashed a rare show of outward joy from Craig and transformed it into a pity party for one.

He stubbornly refused to cook with or for Craig since, punching down his want to do so each time.

‘N-no,’ Tweek cried, biting his lip. ‘Toomuchpressure’. That was the end of the discussion. Craig pulled his hat lower over his eyes.

‘I'll go to the seminar then’ Craig muttered, his voice hard. Tweek watched Craig’s hand rise up slowly and he flinched despite himself. Craig’s hand dropped instantly, his gaze far away. ‘You should get back to work'.

Tweek watched his boyfriend walk away with a heavy heart. Knowing he had hurt Craig once again.

***

  
Tweek stood at the stove, wanting to boil the pan of water but not having the energy to eat. It was past eight and he knew Kyle should have walked Karen back to her dorm and driven Craig home by now. He counted the strands of dried spaghetti he'd lain out on the countertop. Maybe Craig wasn’t going to come home because he no longer felt at home with Tweek?

‘Fuck!’ Tweek shouted, shaking like a leaf. He could feel the electricity beneath his skin, rippling.

Of course Craig wouldn’t be home, he had sent him away. Just like he had before. Tweek could feel the water rising. He was sinking into the bad place again. The cycle of overthinking, double guessing, thretting. The oh so familiar cycle he swept Craig up within. Trapping him in the vortex of his ever entitled anxiety and ticks.

The front door clicked open as Tweek swept the pan of cold water from the stove with a shriek.

'Tweek?’ Craig called, his voice lighter than usual. He appeared, looming, and leant against the door to the kitchen, his face flushed and brows drawn. ‘Did you trip?’

Tweek whirled with more frustration than he could handle. His socks skimmed the pan, the water seeping into the fabric. Craig dropped his canvas bag and made to clean up the mess.

‘Dont,’ Tweek breathed, his arms convulsing at his sides. Craig froze as though slapped, stepping back to stare with narrowed blue eyes.

Tweek could almost taste the unspoken accusations of having spazzed out, as his parents had so lovingly reinforced throughout his child hood.

‘If you’ve had a bad day-we can talk,’ Craig offered easily. Tweek didn’t know whether he was truly losing it; being unfair and mean to both himself and Craig who shouldered his outbursts almost daily.

‘I-I cantdothis,’ Tweek wheeled, breathless and rattled.

He couldn’t keep Craig chained to him. They both wanted affection, he knew that. But more often than not Tweek ruined it; whether it was pouring drinks and pans of boiling water down Craig or biting his tongue when they used to kiss. He never wanted to hurt Craig, or himself, but keeping Craig at bay hurt the pair more. Tweek couldn’t stand that he was the reason Craig stepped back, he was the reason he got jealous when couples were openly affection, he was the quicksand.

Craig moved to comfort Tweek, his hand inches from the quivering shoulder. Tweek bolted backwards, hands splayed as to catch an attack he knew would never come. Craig hadn’t hit Tweek since they were kids being told to hit each other, and would never purposely harm him again.

Craig recoiled angrily, looming high. ‘What is your problem? You’ve been off with me for weeks. You won’t even let me touch you’. He slammed the raised hand hard against the fridge. Old photos of the pair drifted to the floor and settled in the creeping water. ‘You don’t even like me visiting you at work now!’. Each sentence was clipped, dangerously low and rumbled.

‘I wa-want toloveyousomuch. Gah. ButIcant!’

The kitchen grew colder, the walls leaning in. The sparks beneath Tweek’s palms slowed and he looked up quickly into Craig’s bewildered face. Craig so rarely wore his expressions so nakedly. It was the gentle smiles to Tweek when no one was looking, his fingers brushing Tweek’s knuckles as they watched a film. But now all Tweek could see was the world crashing around Craig’s feet. Those luminous blue eyes dulled momentarily.

Craig slipped bonelessly against the countertop, his white knuckled hands keeping him afloat. It felt like hours before he raised his head and stared hard at Tweek, the only sign he was in pain being the smallest downturn of his lips.

‘You...you don’t love me, or don’t want to love me?’

Tweek began to tug at his hair in earnest.

‘IloveyouIdo. Ack!’ he breathed around the outburst, counting Craig’s blinks. ‘I do. I ah. I want you, ah, to be affectionate. Buteverytime- everytime you try. I ruin it’.

‘No' Craig breathed. ‘No Tweek’. He held his hands before him, palms outwards. ‘I know it’s hard for you. Yes it’s hard for me sometimes. But I don’t want you thinking I’ve stopped trying...’

Tweek shook his head like a wet dog. He couldn’t keep letting Craig feel bad, making him feel bad, thinking badly of Craig when it was him throwing up walls.

‘IwantyoutolovemeandIkeeppushingyouaway!’ Tweek shouted, flinching and jerking violently. He watched Craig digest the jumble of words.

‘Are you breaking up with with?’ Tweek had never heard Craig so quiet. He was pulling him apart from the inside, a concoction of inconsistencies poisoning him. ‘I don’t want to break up'.

Craig stepped backwards, his shaking hands curled into fists. His eyes glistened and Tweek wanted to drop dead.

‘I-I'm a-'

‘Don’t you dare fucking say it!’ Craig screamed, finally losing his temper. Tweek stood stock still, too surprised to move as Craig seethed before him. ‘I know you find it hard sometimes. But as long as you want me here I’ll never stop trying. I know I’m not always the best. But I try! I do’.

Tweek felt like the week had rolled into one timeless moment. He felt exhausted and ashamed.

‘No. I’m l-leaving’.

***

Tweek could feel the old blood against his heels, heavy and drying as his feet beat the street. He had no where to go. He just knew he couldn’t stay with Craig and let him continue juggling his chaotic self.

He so desperately wanted to shower Craig with love, but with each embarrassing tick he hated that he couldn’t do it right. Of course he’d pushed Craig away from the chipped masonry of his own walls. But Craig continued to climb, slower as he found the footholds, despite every arrow or rock Tweek threw down at him. He wanted so badly to help Craig over the top, but he would never find a knight in shining armour.

The air was thick with the smell of rain and Tweek welcomed the downpour. He made his peace with the added shudders and continued on across empty parking lots and back alleys.

He sloped into an alleyway behind a 24 hour restaurant and curled up beside the biggest dumpster he could. It was fitting, he thought. He pulled the hoodie he'd swiped around himself, it smelt like Craig.

Heavy footsteps, meant to be heard, had Tweek hugging himself tighter. If he were to die, it might as well be curled into a ball and shaking.

‘A little late for a shower’

The voice was low and throaty, naturally rugged. Tweek blinked up into the masked face of a cloaked man and screamed. He screamed until he felt his lungs would give out. He was on his feet, gloved hands holding his wrists.

‘Tweek. It’s okay,’ the voice continued. Tweek opened his eyes slowly, taking in the stranger. He focused on the gloves, grounding himself. The exposed underwear had him blushing madly and babbling about being happily taken.

‘It’s okay. I’m just the local neighbourhood watch’. Tweek wrapped his arms around his torso as they were freed, bunching the fabric of Craig’s hoodie between his fingers.

‘M-Mysterion?’

The vigilant stepped backwards and nodded slowly. His arms crossed, the fabric tightening.

‘I’m here to make sure you’re okay,’ Mysterion explained as though he had read Tweek’s thoughts. ‘I overheard that a man might be lost'.

Tweek's eyes felt sore and itchy. ‘Craig'.

Mysterion simply shrugged. ‘There was a man looking for someone. You matched the description'.  
Tweek leaned against the dumpster with a small cry of alarm. Craig must have been looking for him. Had Mysterion scared him? 

‘I’m not here to kidnap you,’ Mysterion explained, unlatching his cloak and handing it to Tweek. Dirty blonde hair tumbled around his cheeks.

Tweek wrapped the heavy fabric around his shoulders, burrowing into the warmth. ‘Is he okay?’

Mysterion glanced off to the opening of the alleyway, the domino mask giving nothing away. ‘I’ll let him know you’re safe. Is there anywhere I can help you reach?’

‘Icantgohome. Ack!’ Tweek shouted, desperately trying to lower his voice.

Mysterion nodded. ‘Let’s walk around until you find a familiar street. A friends home is more accomodating than the streets'

Tweek followed bundled in cloak. Mysterion had fashioned him a hood to keep the rain at bay; but Tweek could not decipher his identity behind the domino mask and bruising.

‘Kenny!’ Tweek croaked, stumbling forwards. Mysterion froze at his side. ‘Kyle and K-Kenny!’Tweek bite out, fighting his tongue to sound clearly. ‘Ah. Theyremyfriends. If, ack. You could walk me there’.

What was he doing? He couldn’t take the town vigilante to his friends house! Let alone the two friends he’s been projecting his anxieties onto.  
Tweek stopped walking, his fingers tracing patterns in the cloak.

‘Ghee. I’m sorry. I’ve been such a s-s-spaz' Tweek whispered, swallowing the noises bubbling behind his lips.

Mysterion stood beside him like a statue, only moving to gently place a firm hand on his shoulder.

Tweek shuddered at the touch but allowed it. ‘They’re so nice. Normal. I keep comparing...myself and, oh Jesus...’. Tweek pushed his knuckles into his eyes, the tears trapped. ‘You should be helping people who deserve it’.

‘I’ll always be here to help,’ Mysterion rumbled, squeezing Tweaks shoulder lightly. ‘I’m sure you have plenty of friends too. Lean on them occasionally. Communication is key'.

Tweek sniffled miserably, wanting Craig.

‘Thisistoomuch..ah. I want to see Craig’.  
Mysterion waited until Tweek composed himself and lowered his hands to nod. 

***

Mysterion stood bedraggled in Tweek’s doorway, dirty blonde hair sodden and stuck to his face. Tweek had offered a towel but the vigilante firmly refused and laughed off catching a cold.

Tweek bumbled about the shared room, tidying the mess Craig had made and calming Stripe. Mysterion had refused to leave until Craig returned.

Craig appeared at Mysterion’s shoulder minutes later, eyes glowing, as though summoned from the abyss. He stooped and whispered in the vigilantes ear, too quiet for Tweek to hear.

With a stiff jerk of the head Mysterion smiled reassuringly at Tweek and left as quickly as he’d arrived.

‘You’re soaked,’ Craig pointed out. He strode to Stripes cage but his primary concern was for his shivering boyfriend. ‘Purples a hard colour to pull off'.

Tweek breathed unevenly. ‘I prefer blue’.

‘We’ll return the cloak tomorrow then...unless you’re planning on running off again. Are you?’

Tweek collapsed to his knees, his hands striking his head as he wailed. Craig melted into the carpet before him and gently covered Tweek’s clawing hands until they settled.

‘Aaaahhh,’ Tweek cried feeling like a child again. ‘I’m so sorry. So stupid. Ahh. I’ve been comparing-'

‘I know,’ Craig finished, his expression pinched. ‘But you’re not stupid, Tweek. I just wish we could have talked about it before it got this bad’.

Tweek climbed into Craig’s lap, his ear pressed to Craig’s chest. He counted the rising heartbeat.

'I’ve loved you for a long time, Tweek,’ Craig whispered, resting his chin atop Tweek’s head. The shivers subsided slowly. ‘I’m sorry if I made you feel unloved. I knew you were worried so I stepped back- maybe too much. But I never stopped caring about you’.

‘I shouldn’t have left. Itwastoomuchpressure!’ Tweek counted Craig’s heartbeat. ‘I kept comparing us to other couples. Normal couples. I mean normal like no weird noises. I pushed you away and ahhh resented it. Disliked me for doing it and you for not, no I mean I disliked how I made you second guess. Itsthenthisstupidcycleofoverthinking!’

Craig hummed low in his throat. ‘We can take it slow again’.

‘No!’ Tweek sqwaked, sitting up and elbowing Craig in the ribs by accident. ‘You shouldn’t put your life on hold! For me!’

‘I’m not,’ Craig assured, eyes wet. ‘If you let me, I will do everything in my power to make us both happy. If it means slowing down on the pda when you’re not doing too well, that’s fine. We’ll come up with some secret signal for good and bad days’.

Tweek shook his head.

‘Tweek. Relationships are about compromise and understanding. We’re eighteen. I’ve got my whole life ahead with you. If we need to discuss this every couple of months, then we fucking will. I want to love you, and for you be comfortable'.

‘Have I ruined us?’

‘Kyle and Kenny have had plenty of long talks. Believe me. And even if they didn’t that wouldn’t make our relationship any less valid.’

Craig wrapped his arms around Tweek, slowly rocking.

‘No ones know me like you do. You know when I’m happy even if I dont show it. You make me laugh and you see me for me. You’re also good in the sack...'

Tweek flushed wildly. ‘I, ah. Wanttokissyou'. He traced his fingertips along Craig’s jaw, running his chilled fingers against Craig’s parted lips. Craig kissed the digits gently, smiling against Tweek's lip as they finally joined. Tweek melted into the kiss, shivering with pleasure. He peppered a quick kiss as they parted, not quite ready to leave the comfort.

Craig grinned like the cat who got the cream.

‘I need to get out of this cloak. Ahh, too cold. Can you shower with me?’

‘Of course,’ Craig sighed, content, pushing his face into Tweek’s collarbone. 

‘So Kenny is Mysterion?’

‘Yup. When did you guess?’ Craig grunted, burrowing further into Tweek.

‘When you spoke to him at the door. Ah ghee! Seemed to know him’

‘Yeah. Told him to fuck off’

‘You didn’t!’ Tweek yelped, almost tumbling from Craig’s lap in alarm. Craig made patterns in his back, soothing, his chest rumbling with a small chuckle.

‘Nah. Told him Kyle wanted his underwear back. Now let’s go get showered. Get a takeaway or something’.

‘Craig,’ Tweek said sitting back and taking in his boyfriends kind eyes. ‘I really love you and everything you do, ahhh. I promise I’ll try not to push you away, again. Mmm'.

‘If you do, we’ll work through it' Craig assured with another stolen kiss. 'Dont tell anyone, but I love you too'. Craig smiled wide and Tweek kissed him hard. 


End file.
